Doubt, Shame, Resistance, Oh My!

Dear Lovers,

I hope you are letting the soft edges of the fall sun bring a tenderness to your heart. I just adore fall. I close my eyes at night and see a sea of yellow and orange; so much warmth, so much love. I am reminded of this love every time I show up to teach a class, how very lucky I am to do the work I do in our community. I can't tell you how my heart leaps each time a heart I have connected with walks into the studio and then I can't wait for the people I don't know in the room to feel that love too. I adore all of you...

Even after 15 years of teaching yoga and feeling the love, I still have doubt come up. Doubt has had a great way of keeping me stuck, not letting my Self be seen, questioning my intelligence, and resisting the life that wants to move through me. I now see that Doubt is just here trying to keep me safe and I am learning to work with Her, bless Her heart she can stay as long as she needs to.

Healing the Divide

Hi lovers,


Yoga and Meditation for Dudes Series is off and running.  I feel called to share what I experienced in our first session Thursday night and the clarity that has come from why my soul wanted to embark on this journey.  The intention Ben and I set for the first class was armouring, how we protect ourselves in the many ways we do that keep us from connecting with others, also the images we hold up so others don't see the truth of who we are.  To make the point I showed up in a huge Alaskan downsuit and to tell the truth as I circled up with the men, other than it being hot I kind of wanted to keep it on.  I saw doubt coming up saying "who the hell are you to think you can do this for the men.  You are a woman!".  But as I took off the suit and allowed myself to open up to these men, listening to them as they went around the circle sharing, I could feel in the cells of my being the beliefs and the projections around men sliding away.  

It's not all Unicorns and Rainbows

Hi lovers,

It is great to be home and back to teaching this morning. I always find one of the best parts of travel is the coming home, a reminder of the what it's like when we leave presence and our own heart, and then find our way back. This happens over and over again. It is not a problem, but recognizing when we have left, we can, in a breath, be back home.

When Tessa and I got invited on this trip, I have to say, France was not top on my list of places to visit, but having an opportunity to travel with loved ones, living on a boat for a week, and touring the hillside villages of Southern France seemed way too cool of an opportunity to miss. But, I have to say, I have always had this belief that the French are snooty and aloof.  I know this is not true, but the belief is still there and I wanted to experience something different. Before I left Tahoe, when people asked me what I was most excited about before leaving, this paradigm shift is what I hoped to find. 

I Love France

Bonjour!

Greetings from France Lovers! What a beautiful country it is. It really feels like a country of love, passion and romance. So grateful to be here with my daughter and dear friends, all lovers.  It just delights me that I have come to a place in my life that there is this lover I am deeply connected with and of course I would love to have him here in the country of romance, but at the same time I am perfectly okay that he is not. My happiness does not depend on him, or my daughter, or my friends, or my family or dog for that matter. Sure I experience so much happiness when I am with all these beings, but it's only a reflection of the love that I am. I can truthfully say this is all because of meditation and making the time everyday to sit and be with myself and in that I have become my greatest lover.  As a recovering codependent this is huge.

Commitment

Hi loves,

I have a moment to sit, write and reflect on this summer.  It's been amazing and full!  I can't believe the Wanderlust Festival was over a month ago and school starts in a few days!  It's been 10 years of Wanderlusting at Squaw. I like to use the festival as a time to reflect where I am at in the evolution process and also where the greater yoga community is at too. I use it as a check in to "How can I be of more service to my community?".

Self-Study

Hi Lovers,

I apologize for my absence in connecting thru this medium.  As I have shared before, writing does not come easy for me and what seems valuable to you is when I get vulnerable sharing about my life, also not very easy. People often describe my writing as raw and real, which helps them.  It's been a lot in this last year that has unfolded and it's easy to share when I am in close relation because we can dialogue about it, but much more difficult to share in this medium because it is so personal.  I will continue to try, but reach out and connect with me if you want more.

The Beauty of Death and Dying

Hello Beautiful Yogis,

My beloved grandmother/GG/Betty Shepard is free of her 99 year old body.  She has taken flight.  I know I have shared so much of her over the years that some of you might feel like you know her.  Such time of celebration, joy and grief. Tessa and I were so honored to be with her less than two weeks ago on our semiannual pilgrimage to Florida. We have been doing this pilgrimage since Tessa was a baby because it is important to me that she knows where a lot of her strength as a woman comes from and is seen in all the woman in Betty's legacy. Betty was an incredible woman that lived for what truly matters.  I am forever grateful for what she has inspired in me.