It's nice for the weather to change to force me inside to write. Today, I'm writing about what I am being called to serve which is men.
When I look out in the world, when I hear the news, when I listen to my students, friends, family members, kid, partner, ex-partners- seemingly everyone; I am called over and over again to "hold space" for the men. Globally, men and women have been "out of balance" for a long time. Now, as the feminine archetype comes more into synch, more into her power, it's just plain wobbly. I see a lot of men that are overwhelmed, frustrated, depressed, and lonely. I see men that are fearful of women and don't see that they can trust them. (Recently, I heard that middle aged men are at the highest risk for suicide in Truckee/Tahoe).
A couple months ago I went to court to support a friend. As I waited and listened to the many cases ahead of us, all but one were men; mostly middle-aged, of all ethnicities.
Last week I came upon a man with his dog that had been hit in the middle of the road. Unfortunately, the Latina men and women that were nearby and on scene before I was, appeared afraid to help this white man with bright red hair that was yelling in his fear and anger of possibly losing his dog, "Buddy. As he crumbled in grief over his dog's body that was bleeding mostly from the mouth, I walked gently up with my fuzzy dog blanket from the back of the car and wrapped it around Buddy. I psychically wrapped a blanket around this man too. They both "melted" being held in this way. It is amazing what a little Presence can offer towards healing...
And, just a few days ago I was talking with a man that was posting signs in my neighborhood for his lost cat. There were tears from this man as I listened to him tell me about his beloved "Tiki" and that he would offer a big reward to whomever found the tabby. And, it is all over; all you need to do is turn on the news and hear about the most recent shooting. Our men are really hurting and this means our women and kids are hurting too.
I believe women are more likely to reach out for help when things get tough, there are more women support systems in place, it's easier for women to sense and share what they are feeling. I hear over and over again from women students that are in partnership with men that they wish their partner would practice yoga and/or meditate. I hear from the single women that they would love to find a partner that practices yoga/meditation. Why? Well, I can only speak from my experience.
When I was single a few years back, and I felt I was ready to get involved in relationship, I wasn't really sure if it could happen because I didn't have much faith that I would find a man that practiced yoga and meditation and also wasn't into drinking and drugs. It felt like the small pond of Tahoe was getting narrowed to a tiny puddle. I wasn't really interested in the "spiritual guy" either because that becomes an ego to battle in itself. What I wanted was someone that was willing to sit- sit with his mind, sit with his pains, sit with his "stuff". Someone that wanted to take care of his vessel and inhabit it. Why? Because the practice creates stability. And isn't that what every relationship needs, whether it's with ourselves or with each other. I know yoga and meditation create great stability because I have witnessed it in myself and my students. This is not hippie woo-woo sh*t. Then enters Ben....and I can't thank the universe/myself enough. Sure, he still has a hard time touching his toes because of his strong, tight body from years of sports. Sure, he still has a hard time dropping down into his heart from his overactive, intelligent mind. The thing is he is willing to be with his resistance to all of it, even when he thinks this is hippie woo-woo sh*t. Maybe that comes from competing athletically and coaching for years, but it truly is what I find incredibly courageous and downright attractive. I am grateful that he chose to enroll himself in yoga teacher training to deepen the process for himself. I have heard him say out loud, more than once, "this sh*t works!"
So Men, Ben and I are inviting you to come spend 6 Wednesday nights together starting October 2nd. Find out for yourself if this sh*t works. You can leave everything at the door until you are ready to pick it up again. Drop into your body with some movement, asana and breath work. Feel your true heart beat and find freedom in that knowledge. Bring your resistance, bring your excuses and come anyway, they are all welcome too. Find out how much it helps to be "held in the container" by your fellow brothers and myself.
If you are still not sure, come to the first class as a test drive. No pressure. Or, sign up for the entire series by September 25th and get a deeper discount.
Women, if you have men in your life that you love and you think would benefit by attending, please forward this newsletter to them. I am really excited about the men that have already committed and fired up to see who else joins us this year.
Attendees from last year, join us again. If you are not able to participate, may I ask you to encourage your male friends that would benefit. Based on feedback from last year, I am excited that this year will be 6 classes instead of 4.
And to all my sisters, please listen to men and boys with your open, precious heart. I know this is hard when there has been hurt in the past. Listen to what needs are wanting to be met so you can respond in a skillful way. Often it is just your presence. That is when the healing happens and it can make these wobbles a whole lot more stable.
Love to you all!