The Beauty of Death and Dying

March 2018 Newsletter

Hello Beautiful Yogis,

My beloved grandmother/GG/Betty Shepard is free of her 99 year old body.  She has taken flight.  I know I have shared so much of her over the years that some of you might feel like you know her.  Such time of celebration, joy and grief. Tessa and I were so honored to be with her less than two weeks ago on our semiannual pilgrimage to Florida. We have been doing this pilgrimage since Tessa was a baby because it is important to me that she knows where a lot of her strength as a woman comes from and is seen in all the woman in Betty's legacy. Betty was an incredible woman that lived for what truly matters.  I am forever grateful for what she has inspired in me.  I love that it is National Woman's Day as I write this. Betty was a mover and shaker in this world for many woman and men that honor woman.  If I had one wish for her life and our relationship, it would have been to have her living closer so I could be with her more.  But I guess because it was not frequent enough and most of my family lives on the west coast, it made our time together extra special and my ability to drop into presence with her that much easier.  I knew when we arrived that this was going to be the last visit.  We came into her room and she was asleep in her bed, oxygen machine pumping and Tessa and I excitedly took a seat in the room, Tessa dropping into a book and myself dropping into presence.  She eventually woke up surprised to see us and I quickly got to the foot of her bed so I could sit with her and rub her feet.  I could see her strong personal will that has kept her here longer than she desired.  I could see the mind that wanted to know about us, our lives and if she could help us in anyway.  I could see her generous spirit that was looking around her little room trying to find something to give us.  So beautiful and so sweet.  I told her she no longer had to be on stage performing and that she could just lay back and rest.  And she did.  She gave in and let me massage her gorgeous legs, feet and toes.  Tears pouring down my face to feel this intimacy with life.  Watching her chest breathing, imagining her tired heart.  She would wake at moments and I would ask her if it felt ok and she said it feels soooooo good and she would rest back once more.  We had 3 more visits like this and as soon as she would come to and see I was there, she would flick the covers off of her feet in suggestion.  When we left to head back home, we told her we would miss her, it was the first time I didn't weep.  I knew the end was near and she would be free.  I felt great joy in my heart and honor to have spent this precious time with her.  6 days later she had a heart attack, but family members were able to talk with her in her final days.  The beauty of this experience has helped me to grieve all parts of this life that I haven't allowed myself to grieve.  It's been amazing the freedom that comes with it!  Having the waves of grief come and go. Tessa is getting use to seeing mommy crying uncontrollably and having her own waves too.  When we found out of her passing, I kept her home from school and we did a sugar skull puzzle in honor of her beloved GG. Puzzles are something we don't take time for unless we are visiting GG.  I love that my computer was divinely down for 5 days during this process. Who knew computers were so intuitive? Thank you for listening and thank you for letting me share.  

Inspiring connection is a calling of this heart.  That is why I do what I do.  I am super excited to be leading this day long retreat with my dear friend Joaquin.  We are inspired to lead you into a deeper connection with yourself.  We realized after we went to print that we didn't have the right date.  I guess we both need an editor.  So the correct date is in the info below.  Hope this means you will be able to make it, it will be wonderful.  We are also going to host A Night of Connection this Tuesday.  Those that sign up for the retreat will get this class for FREE.

Love to you all!