Hi Loves,
How you all be? Once again I have to say, "interesting times we are living in". Last week I felt like I was an escapist because Ben and I went on our annual Birthday climbing trip to City of Rocks, Idaho. Everything was beautiful- the climbing, the flowers, the weather, the sunsets and, at the same time, I found myself checking in with what was happening in our country, and the world ,when I had a spotty internet connection at our campsite. Like I was missing out, FOMO. And there is something going on that I want to be a part of- we are all waking up to the systemic racism that is a deep wound of the United States.
As a white woman I feel fortunate that Grandma Betty instilled the importance of gender and racial equality to my family. And, my Dad always modeled that you never treat anyone different because the color of their skin. I remember as a child growing up in St. Louis in an affluent, predominantly white community where I attended public school. In 5th Grade the county made the decision to bus black kids in from the inner city. I remember not really understanding what the problem was and why so many parents were upset. I remember my best friend's family moving because of it. I was confused and devastated. I think one of my favorite memories of St. Louis was the color of my black brothers and sisters. I have always felt a deep connection to African Americans and I don't know if it's because I was black in a past life or if it's because I find that black people, probably because of the suffering they have endured, seem much closer to the remembering of who they really are. They know their true nature and because of that, I find them easy to be with. And I look at my white brothers and sisters, including me, as much more neurotic and insecure because we have a harder time remembering who we are. And we are the ones that have had so much given to us just because of the color of our skin. However, the white supremacy we have taken on feels like anything but privilege. It makes me want to vomit, has me bawling my eyes out (happens frequently these days) and asking for forgiveness. Anytime I get caught in the forgetting, thinking I am in some way superior or, on the flip side, inferior, it grosses me out. When we forget the true nature of who we are (when we are in an ego mind state), it is amazing how cruel we can be, the harm we can do, the powering over, the dehumanizing that we are capable of. AND, we have all done this, all of us! If you see us all as one, (as I do) we are George Floyd, we are the cop that put his knee on Mr. Floyd's neck, and we are the other cops that watched it happen and did nothing. I believe this one incident was divinely planned for us all to see we need to wake up. We can't be turning a blind eye anymore. And the first step to keep this perpetual behavior from happening is to be with our guilt, shame, and embarrassment. To be with our anger and frustration. To be with our deep sadness and, most of all, grief. When we remember that it is all held; kindness and love emerge. We must do this to heal and to wake up. Good god, I turned 48 on Saturday and it's time! We all have suffered from racism as long as I can remember. It is true, when one of us suffers, we all suffer. So let's educate ourselves. Let's have these awkward conversations. Let's give our black brothers and sisters the support they have desperately been needing and get to the equality that is long overdue.
There are many resources out there for us. It's everywhere. I love that Netflix has a whole selection of movies to educate us. Brene Brown's Podcast, Unlocking Us, is amazing! One of my favorite teacher's, Tara Brach, has profound podcasts. And then, closer to home, my dear friend, sister, and colleague, Meg McCracken, is leading rich virtual satsang every Wednesday morning at 10:00. Links below:
Brene Brown's Podcast with Ibram X. Kendi https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-ibram-x-kendi-on-how-to-be-an-antiracist/
Tara Brach https://youtu.be/7MLGkGCLKw8
Online black-owned bookstores to purchase from: https://lithub.com/you-can-order-today-from-these-black-owned-independent-bookstores/
Written by my dear friend and sister, Meg McCracken, Blood on My Hands, a poem about complicency in racism. https://www.megmccraken.com/writing/blood-on-my-hands
Meg is also leading calls with Ashleigh Sergeant on Wednesdays at 10:00 that have been really rich: https://www.megmccraken.com/online-classes
I feel like right now the whole BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) Community is finally being seen in all their suffering and my prayer is that they are feeling a huge global hug. I know the few times I have been seen in my anger/rage or any strong emotion, immense healing has happened. And when I say seen, I mean held in presence by another. Have you ever had some sort of tantrum or emotional breakdown in front of another and they looked at you like you were crazy or, even worse, they told you that you were crazy? If you responded, Yes; how did that play out for you? What if that person had just held space for you and listened without judgement; what would have been the outcome? Or, on the flip side, has someone acted out some kind of emotional turmoil and you looked at them as if they were crazy or, even worse, told them they were crazy? How did that play out? Have you had the experience of holding space for another when they were working thru strong emotion? If yes, did you sense how meaningful that was? It is such and honor to hold space for another. I feel that is what we are doing for the Black Lives Matter movement. Because it all matters and it's an honor to be a part of it and the healing that will come out of it.
I know for me, one of my internal struggles right now is not connecting, in-person, with my community. I went for a hike with some girlfriends on my birthday and there was a huge surge of much needed connection time. I know we are all feeling this. So, I am dipping my toe into holding my first, in-person, outdoor yoga class next week at Tahoe Cross-Country. Details below.
Also, Ben and I finished up our, Yoga and Meditation for Men Series, before we left on our trip. I can't tell you how proud I am of these Men. We went deep with topics like Commitment, Boundaries, Truth, Anger, Blame and Self-Compassion. It was truly amazing and meaningful. We plan to start another series in September, and we will offer three drop-in, virtual classes this summer. Details below.
Lastly, The Practice this Friday! Theme will be, Listening Deeply to Truth and What are you Hearing? Details below.
May we all see how much each and everyone of us matters!
Love to you ALL! Missing YOU!
Namaste,
Shari
P.S. Photo credit to my cousin Kristin Shepard who lives in D.C. and involved in peaceful protests there.
P.S.S. This newsletter took me a week to write. Awkward and extremely uncomfortable. May this be the new norm.
P.S.S.S. I had the shameful thought that since it took so long to get out this email that I might be too late. That the movement was no longer of interest. May this movement not end until there is equality for everyone.
The Practice
Fridays 8-10AM
Donation Based $1-$20
Respond to the Email and I will send you the Zoom Link
Venmo @Shari-Beard-1
Yoga on the Deck and Under the Trees
Tuesday 4:00-5:15PM
Tahoe Cross-Country Ski Area
*Limited to 5 Healthy Individuals
Suggested $20 Donation
Respond to the Email to Reserve Your Spot
Yoga and Meditation for Men - Drop In Virtual Classeswith Ben and Shari
Last Wednesday Night of June, July and August 7:00-8:30PM
June 24 - Finding Stability in Wobbly Times
July 29 - Being with the Fear that is Right Here
August 26 - Compassion for the OverwhelmCost: $25
Respond to this Email and I will send you the Zoom link.Venmo @Shari-Beard-1
